


Disparate

by Tadaliel



Category: Voltron Legendary Defender, vld - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, Post Season 3, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, a little fluff, pre-season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 14:43:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12608940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tadaliel/pseuds/Tadaliel
Summary: Shiro's back at last, but he's tormented by constant nightmares. He doesn't feel the same. He doesn't feel like himself. How long can he keep it from Keith as to not worry him?





	Disparate

Breathing was difficult. His mind screaming not to take another breathe, don’t do it, don’t breathe. You’ll die, you’ll die, you’ll die. Yet, his body didn’t agree, burning and pleading for respiration, to fill the burning lungs. Grey eyes darted in all directions amongst the unfamiliar pink liquid, threatening to drown him. No escape. Hands pressed against the glass tube, desperate to free himself. Fists forming to hit at the glass that encased him in a futile attempt to be liberated and live. No way to leave the imminent death creeping in as consciousness began to fade, frantic hands weakening with each second. Every cell in his body screamed, fighting with the urge to resist. The last few gasps of air leaving his lungs, bubbles floating into his visage, as if taunting him with their fleeting escape.

 

Failing to resist what would in the end, fill his lungs with the foreign liquid and ultimately drown him, Shiro’s chest swelled, preparing to take a large inhale.

 

The sound that came next was a frightened groan, followed by the shuddering creak of the bed in his own room. Or rather, the bed inside of the ship's bunk he called his own. The fleshed hand reached up, pressing the palm against a sweaty forehead. The hand was trembling, fresh with the horror that wracked his sleep.

 

What filled his lungs now was oxygen taken in shaky, gasping breaths. Clean, pure, oxygen that entered through the filtered Castle’s ventilation system. 

 

“Fuck…”

 

The swear was muttered exasperated into the dark, seemingly empty room. Was it night? It was always hard to tell. It was safe to assume it was still the usual hour the paladins chose to sleep during. The worst of the dream had slowly been shaken off.

 

It had been a recurring nightmare ever since Shiro returned to the Castle. Returned to his team. Returned to Voltron. Escaped from the Galra... It always ended as soon as he gave in and took a breathe. Although, the lack of sleep was nothing new.

 

Now, the headache took its place. With a groan, he pushed back the white forelock, dampened with sweat. It always left him with a nagging, aching familiar feeling, but whenever he tried to focus on the nightmare, it made his head throb worse. 

 

The cool metal of the Galran prosthetic was a welcomed feeling as it rubbed at Shiro’s exhausted face. Now would be a GREAT time for Hunk to magically discover the space equivalent to black coffee. Caffeine would be the perfect remedy at a time like this.

 

Headache dulling with the steady breathing, the once renowned black paladin relaxed back against the pillow. Fortunately, incredibly comfortable. Allura and Coran were pretty  competent in providing to their needs with things reminiscent to home. Which included, incredibly fluffy pillows. Releasing a sigh, the inhuman hand pressed against his clammy forehead, easing into it’s chilly touch.

 

Nothing felt right. Not sleep, not his dreams, not his body. He didn’t have control over anything lately, did he? Not even the black lion. But it was no use to dwell on it now. Shiro found his way back. They found him and rescued him, and now he was safe.

 

It was best to focus on how he could help. No longer the leader, no longer the Black Lions paladin, but still, a valued member of Voltron's team. They all reminded him of that. At the very least, he could advise them and help from aboard the Castle. 

 

Yet.. no matter how positive he tried to remain about the situation, the nightmares and nagging feelings at the back of his mind remained. Constantly lingering and prodding at him from the depths of his subconscious. Before he could concentrate too much on the peculiar feelings, a small knock echoed against his bunk door.

 

It was loud enough to interrupt his thoughts, propping himself up as grey hues focused towards the sound. Was someone else up? He didn’t make any noises in his sleep, did he?The answer came quickly, as voice came next.

 

“Shiro? You awake?”

 

Shiro quickly relaxed at the familiar voice. It was just Keith, who else would be awake at such an odd hour too? Although, possibly pidge too, but she would most likely stay cooped up in her room tweaking on new projects. Sighing with relief, he sat up properly. 

 

“Yeah, I'm awake. Come in.”

 

Of course, Shiro was close to everyone on the team. But Kieth? The new black paladin, was the easiest to talk to. Especially with everything that had happened to him lately. On both ends. The door slid open as he came in, and quickly closed behind.

 

“Hey. Can’t sleep?”

 

The question was light, but still full of the usual worry that Keith had. A tone he had gotten used to particularly lately since his rescue. Everyone used it when they had enough time with Shiro to ask how things were. Nevertheless, it brought a slight smile to his face.

 

“Yeah. I’m guessing you can’t either?”

 

Quietly, Keith made his way to sit on the edge of Shiro’s bed, making himself comfortable in the darkness of the room to talk. There was a small sigh from Keith now, bringing slight concern. Yet, it was completely understandable. 

 

So much was happening over the course of a few months, and Keith had to lead them through it, even IF Shiro was back. As ‘off’ as Shiro felt, one thing was same. He’d always be there for his team. Putting aside the lingering nightmare moments before, a hand extended to the young man’s shoulder and gave an encouraging squeeze. 

 

“Hey, just take a second and breathe, okay?”

 

Keith nodded, taking the advice to collect his thoughts with the comfort of Shiro by his side. He reached up to rub at his neck awkwardly, trying to find the words.

 

“Things are.. Weird lately, huh, Shiro?”

 

That was an understatement. Giving a small chuckle, he nodded in agreement, the hand sliding from the shoulder.

 

“It sure is. How’re you handling everything?”

 

There was more silence as Keith continued to collect his thoughts on the subject. Everything was forced onto him so suddenly, even against everything he wanted. Keiths hands twiddled in his lap, looking at the floor of Shiro’s room.

 

“I guess… I’m doing better than I first was. I’m getting better at it-- I think.”

 

Shiro nodded again, listening to Keith’s concerns and words. After all, once Shiro was stable, Keith told him how difficult things were. How he made mistakes and failures when he was missing. Keith rambled on and on that night. How he was nothing like Shiro, how he could never be, how he was failing the team. Perhaps, it was still something that bothered him? It’d only be natural. Shiro has plenty of training at the Garrison and a natural born leader. Not that it was easy.. But it made gave him more experience than Keith.

 

“Keith, you’re doing great. We all think so. I know you didn’t have a choice, but you’re a good leader.”

 

Even if it was dark, Shiro gave a reassuring smile. Without seeing it, Keith could hear it in his voice when he spoke. Gentle, soft, encouraging.. It put him at ease.

 

“Thank’s Shiro.. What’s bothering you then?”

 

Ah, right. He’s awake when he should be sleeping too. Shiro told him everything but.. He didn’t want to worry him TOO much. Especially not with how worried Keith already was since he came back. They still didn’t know how he suddenly disappeared from the Black Lion and ended up on a Galran ship. That alone was enough to have Keith watching him constantly to make sure he was alright. 

 

“Nothing, just a nightmare is all. Not a big deal.”

 

Well, it was partial truth. But no WAY was he going to tell him what the nightmare was about. That would just raise some unnecessary alarms and make Keith worry even more. He didn’t need that. He was under enough pressure already. He could see Keith give a faint nod in the darkness.Worried, but accepting it. After all, it wasn’t the first time Shiro had a nightmare and Keith was around, and it wouldn’t be the last time.

 

“..Mind if I sleep in here then?”

 

The question was.. Well, not strange, more like nostalgic? At the Garrison, sometimes when Shiro’s nightmares got too bad, Keith would offer to sleep in his dorm. But that was years ago, and they both were still practically students.. But this time in this situation? Maybe it’d put them both at ease, even if just for the night.

 

“Sure, Keith.”

 

Smiling a little, Shiro shifted over to the other side of the bed closest to the wall and lifted the blankets to make room for Keith. Even if he asked, Keith was somewhat hesitant to lay down. They only ever slept in the same bed a few times. In Shiro’s old dorms, most of the time Keith would make himself a spot elsewhere to sleep and stay up most of the night studying, keeping a watchful eye over Shiro as he slept. He laid down, getting himself comfortable before speaking again, faintly, as if to himself.

 

“Don’t disappear on me again Shiro. Please.”

 

Not ‘us’ not the ‘team’, but ‘me’. It struck Shiro directly. Thinking about the words as he laid down beside him. What was the right answer to that? He couldn’t just promise not to disappear on him without the complete certainty how he even disappeared the first- No, the second time actually..

 

Shiro could only nod, staring at the ceiling.

 

“I’ll try.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on 
> 
> https://twitter.com/blackllon  
> Or  
> https://twitter.com/blackllonfics
> 
> I started writing this after watching Season three and before watching Season four. I plan to make this multiple chapters, but if I get too lazy to continue it, then I'm sorry.


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